im write stories, not profesional but tell me wat u think of first chapter wud u buy if if i publised and y


Lurch , Tuesday, 10th of August 2010 03:22:06 PM

The build up1999
The streets of New York were quiet, nothing was alive 
Lurch
and nothing had motion. It was boxing day halfseven in the evening most job 
Registered User
workers of the big city were sleeping in their homes tired from all the 
Joined: Wednesday, 12th of May 2010, 14:57:22
fuss Christmas day had offered them.The mothers were satisfied with the 
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joys which had been blessed on the families in this time of the year. 
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Alsothe children who thought Santa existed were chuffed with there top of 
the range clothes and gifts which had been given to them on Christmas 
morning, however the family men were still recovering from all the debts 
that they owed to the manipulating bills and presents they could not 
afford. To make things worse they were also recovering from the hangovers 
which had been given to them from the brothers in laws and their obsession 
always to drink vodka on every celebration. It was a time of year they 
hated and despised however were hiding it to keep the children happy and 
keep safe from the desperate wifes bellowing down their ears. They were 
now looking forward to nothing except a financial disaster for the new 
year on the other hand they were still praying for one thing. That the 
conference in the morning for the big boxing fight between Lewis Carters 
and James Husky went well and the fight was to go forward.
By now it 
was eight o clock, paparazzi were outside the queens park palace waiting 
for Lewis Carters to arrive at the conference. He would often do this to 
build suspense in the atmosphere and get all the people from his home 
town, Brooklyn, to cheer him on when he got there. James Husky was already 
in the building., he was Lewis Carters opponent and is the heavy weight 
champion. He has been fighting professional for 25 years and has been 
undefeated since he had the belt-he has had eight fights since he had had 
won the title and has either knocked his opponents out within the first 
two rounds or they have got so hurt in the fight from his deadly 
combinations of punches that the coaches and trainers have thrown in the 
towel. It was going to be the best fight since Muhammad Ali and Joe 
Frasier fought it out in the famous fight known commonly as the gorilla in 
manila. Husky was a fairly tall man with a muscular build, he had a very 
quick reacting mind in the ring, he was a powerful puncher and the 
unordinary thing about him is that he can fight either orthodox or 
southpaw stance in the ring.He was given the nickname James the power man 
Husky after knocking Fredson juniour out in the 2nd round with a lethal 
uppercut which knocked one of fredsons moulders out of his mouth blood was 
all over the ring and it was classed to be one of the most memorable fights 
in history. What made it unordinary was this was when he was in the cruiser 
weight and the power of the punch was the equivalent of Geroge Foremans 
awesome hooks.. James always stay focused on the aim of the fight which is 
to win and that integrity and spirit has won him most of his fights. A 
characteristic which made him stand outside the ring was that he was very 
crotchety this was also the case after his fights and in public. Whenever 
he was victorious over one of his fights he would always end up yelling at 
a bewildered reporter who he would end up either pushing onto the floor. 
Even though he was like this, it was what made him entertaining to watch 
and he is known to have one of the most amazing attitudes to live. In the 
conference room Husky was wearing an black swage suit with a black striped 
shit and blue aqua coloured tie, he was sitting in there patiently waiting 
for the conference to progress.
While James Husky was inside sitting 
on lined table on the right side of the room sippinghis glass of squeezed 
lemon, loud chaotic noises were coming from outside. Husky got out of his 
Brown leather chairand looked outside the window and developed a 
tormenting smile. Outside was a large Grey gold plated 550 Ferrari 
Maranello, it was being blocked by a crowd and the car was unable to move 
forward so it pulled to the side of the curve and stopped. The passengers 
door was opened and Bobby Norton approached onto the road. Bobby Norton 
was Lewis Carters promoter and had been his promoter for years. He was 
experienced at what he did and was also a promoter of other great fighters 
like Ben Gills Olympic silver medallist inwelter weight and also Benvollio 
Dulcet heavy weight champion from 1997 to 1998 however he was less popular 
when he was defeated by “James the power man Husky” in 1998. Norton was 
a very popular man also known for when he used to be a entrepreneur for 
many successful training businesses located all over the States and Europe 
however he gave all his businesses to his oldest son Thomas Norton mainly 
due to being so busy in his promoting work. On the other hand nobody 
really cared about his career professions just cared about him being a 
good looking multi millionaire mainly because of the many privatized 
companies that he owns. Which could be anything leisure companies, 
electronics or even a broad way drug racket for a mob living in little 
Italy but who knows nobody really tried to get on his bad side in public 
and in the media, due to the several people who have crossed him in their 
lives havereceived extra attention from his body guards which isn’t a 
pretty site.
Ferraris back seat couldn’t be seen through because 
of the tinted windows. Suddenly the doors opened and Jerry Carters came 
out of the back seat ,Jerry was Lewis’s uncle and trainer. Five years he 
has been training Lewis to become the ultimate boxing fighter, Lewis used 
to be trained by his father ,Carl Carters,however he was killedwhilst 
locking up the gym on a week night. He was stabbed retentively in />the back while locking the gyms front doors.
Even though Lewis lost 
his father at such a important part in his life their dream was to make 
Lewis become heavyweight champion by the time he reached his Forties. 
Lewis knew he was undefeated for five fights in a row when his father was 
killed. It somehow struck him in his mind that whoever killed his father 
wanted him dead to stop Lewis achieving his potential. He knew it and so 
did his uncle Jerry and they were determined to become the world most 
magnificent fighter in the states. Local media stations have been 
announcing the fight for weeks knowing it will be great, this fight is 
what Lewis has been waiting for with Forty wins andzero losses. Every time 
he trained in the gym his father was last seen, every time he goes for jogs 
he thinks he would never of got were he is if his father didn’t inspire 
him. So the least he could do l share the dream with his father in the 
after world to become undisputed heavy weight champion “ Carter the king 
of aces” he was given this name by his mother when he was only nine years 
of age because he was acing every completion he went to.The fight will be 
Huskys hardest challenge and it will be a incredible bout between the two 
but disputes have been argued saying Carter will knock Husky out in the 
first round because of his great speed, power and confident 
personality.Lewis climbed out of the car with a black suit on with a red 
shirt without a tie.The roaring was incredible all his fans were putting 
there hands out but he just walked forward not showing just a few respect 
he believed is you shake one mans hand ,you, should shake every ones. 
Menacingly he walked through the brown, oak doors and walked throughthe 
lounge which had some newspapers photographers. Willingly to take pictures 
they snapped away but he ignoredevery flash . Walking into the main 
conference room. Shockingly he ran up towards Husky and got ready to throw 
a hook while Husky was sitting off guard. With quick reactions Husky moved 
out of the way pushing the chair over and causing a load sensational sound 
of cold leather touching the limestone floor.
“Man I’m going to 
kill you in the ring, I’m not going to show no mercy sucker” fire was 
in Carters eyes when he shouted at Husky.
“got some nerve bringing 
your mans in here acting all big, you aren’t nothing to me ” Husky 
looked into Carters eyes and gave the same tormenting smile he did when he 
saw Carters cars coming.
“ Think you all big man, your two minutes 
late” Husky was known for his manipulating remarks towards other 
fighters. The two monsters tried to grab one each other into a glitch and 
fight each other in a slugger fight but repeatedly they were separated. 
Constantly they kept taunting each other.
The conference was one of 
the most disturbing in the whole of the boxing association but it did 
finish and the fight date was set. Both of them would fight on March 
29th,at Maidson Square Garden. Many people were now looking forward to 
this epic fight, the two fighters were now fighting to keep their pride 
and determination to carry on their winning streaks.


/>










/>










/>The big fight
Exactly three long months had no gone by and both 
fighters had been training hard and keeping their fitness up especially. 
It was 26th March, with only three days left till the fight. The morning 
was bright and the newspaper prints were printing in the publication 
factories getting ready to distribute across New York. The front page had 
a bold heading written saying “ Carter v Husky, will Husky win like he 
says”.
“ l cant believe it, look what there all saying” Lewis 
had a copy of The New York times clutched into both of his hands. He was 
at home in Brooklyn, sitting in the garden. His house was more of a 
warehouse, he owned a 3.5 million dollar mansion with over 50.5 acres if 
land in his back garden.The Carter residence was the biggest in the whole 
of New York.
“ look at all these people look at what they say, 
there saying l am going to lose. What nerve do they have saying these 
things, well ill show them on Saturday night. It will be a fight they will 
never forget. So Jerry what do you recon?”. Thomas Norton his promoter 
was standing timidly in front of Lewis.
“Listen kid, you can say 
anything to the media. Stop saying things please?. You can say it politely 
or even threaten them guys. They aren’t going to listen these kinds of 
media attention get millions of views. Meaning more money for the editors. 
All you gotta do is prove them wrong by winning the title and bang the 
money they got comes in your favour”. Lewis gave a bovine expression. 

“ damn is dosh all you care about well guess what l want more. l 
wanna prove them all wrong with my fists not with my money. For all l care 
you can keep my money l make on the night just get the media of my back”. 

 
 
 
 
 

SweetBottom , Wednesday, 11th of August 2010 10:49:24 PM

Thats not too good to be honest, boring in fact. include more  
SweetBottom
decription with interesting metaphors! but keep going and you will get  
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beter, u definately need a more unique writing style to grip the reader.  
Joined: Sunday, 30th of May 2010, 19:46:32
also most of the narrative is in dialect like ''half seven if the  
Posts: 1359
narrative voice is saying this it should be more formal.  
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Prince Charmin , Thursday, 12th of August 2010 02:44:38 AM

Nice start.rough. You'd be having to hire an editor to make  
Prince Charmin
the story line flow better.  
Registered User
By the way.don't place ur writings on a public network if you don't want  
Joined: Thursday, 29th of April 2010, 17:16:19
someone to steal them from you.  
Posts: 2035
If you want another writer to look at ur materials, never hand out the  
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original.  
Don't let others in on ur product (story) unless you can trust them.  
Publishers want stories that are almost already perfect. The cost to  
publish is high.  
They want referrals & or known author materials. Where some took great  
risks in the past.they now don't.  
So keep trying.  
From ur presentation here, you will need to hire an editor or ghost writer  
who knows how to spell & good grammar. Cost is high, risk is high.  
 
 
 
 
 



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