tell me what you think of my new book. its only part of chapter 1 would you like to read more


Beamer , Wednesday, 11th of August 2010 06:54:08 AM

By now it was eight o clock, paparazzi were outside the queens park palace 
Beamer
waiting for Lewis Carters to arrive at the conference. He would often do 
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this to build suspense in the atmosphere and get all the people from his 
Joined: Monday, 17th of May 2010, 06:22:52
home town, Brooklyn, to cheer him on when he got there. James Husky was 
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already in the building., he was Lewis Carters opponent and is the heavy 
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weight champion. He has been fighting professional for 25 years and has 
been undefeated since he had the belt-he has had eight fights since he had 
had won the title and has either knocked his opponents out within the first 
two rounds or they have got so hurt in the fight from his deadly 
combinations of punches that the coaches and trainers have thrown in the 
towel. It was going to be the best fight since Muhammad Ali and Joe 
Frasier fought it out in the famous fight known commonly as the gorilla in 
manila. Husky was a fairly tall man with a muscular build, he had a very 
quick reacting mind in the ring, he was a powerful puncher and the 
unordinary thing about him is that he can fight either orthodox or 
southpaw stance in the ring.He was given the nickname James the power man 
Husky after knocking Fredson juniour out in the 2nd round with a lethal 
uppercut which knocked one of fredsons moulders out of his mouth blood was 
all over the ring and it was classed to be one of the most memorable fights 
in history. What made it unordinary was this was when he was in the cruiser 
weight and the power of the punch was the equivalent of Geroge Foremans 
awesome hooks.. James always stay focused on the aim of the fight which is 
to win and that integrity and spirit has won him most of his fights. A 
characteristic which made him stand outside the ring was that he was very 
crotchety this was also the case after his fights and in public. Whenever 
he was victorious over one of his fights he would always end up yelling at 
a bewildered reporter who he would end up either pushing onto the floor. 
Even though he was like this, it was what made him entertaining to watch 
and he is known to have one of the most amazing attitudes to live. In the 
conference room Husky was wearing an black swage suit with a black striped 
shit and blue aqua coloured tie, he was sitting in there patiently waiting 
for the conference to progress.
While James Husky was inside sitting 
on lined table on the right side of the room sippinghis glass of squeezed 
lemon, loud chaotic noises were coming from outside. Husky got out of his 
Brown leather chairand looked outside the window and developed a 
tormenting smile. Outside was a large Grey gold plated 550 Ferrari 
Maranello, it was being blocked by a crowd and the car was unable to move 
forward so it pulled to the side of the curve and stopped. The passengers 
door was opened and Bobby Norton approached onto the road. Bobby Norton 
was Lewis Carters promoter and had been his promoter for years. He was 
experienced at what he did and was also a promoter of other great fighters 
like Ben Gills Olympic silver medallist inwelter weight and also Benvollio 
Dulcet heavy weight champion from 1997 to 1998 however he was less popular 
when he was defeated by “James the power man Husky” in 1998. Norton was 
a very popular man also known for when he used to be a entrepreneur for 
many successful training businesses located all over the States and Europe 
however he gave all his businesses to his oldest son Thomas Norton mainly 
due to being so busy in his promoting work. On the other hand nobody 
really cared about his career professions just cared about him being a 
good looking multi millionaire mainly because of the many privatized 
companies that he owns. Which could be anything leisure companies, 
electronics or even a broad way drug racket for a mob living in little 
Italy but who knows nobody really tried to get on his bad side in public 
and in the media, due to the several people who have crossed him in their 
lives havereceived extra attention from his body guards which isn’t a 
pretty site.
 
 
 
 
 

cuppy cake , Thursday, 12th of August 2010 02:39:43 AM

No, sorry.  
cuppy cake
 
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To be perfectly honest, I didn't even finish reading the whole chapter .  
Joined: Monday, 24th of May 2010, 17:38:37
You have some tense problems, as well as some spelling errors. There is  
Posts: 1666
also not enough suspense to captivate a reader is attention.  
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Gangster Teddy , Friday, 13th of August 2010 02:50:25 AM

I read the first half, and then stopped -which I think says a  
Gangster Teddy
lot.  
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Because it is all about the characters' past, it doesn't build up any  
Joined: Sunday, 6th of June 2010, 22:13:36
suspense - nothing actually seems to be happening! It is just a bit  
Posts: 386
boring to be honest - lacks any kind of punch. See what I did there?!  
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The fact that you keep changing tenses doesn't exactly make for an easy  
read either.  
 
 
 
 
 



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